Dear iPhone

Dear iPhone,

You have eluded me for years. As a customer of Sprint, I have fervently waited to grasp you in my hands and call you mine. Staying true to my wireless steed has been a long and perilous journey, riddled with persecution, abandonment, and misfortune. I must admit, on many occasions I was tempted to commit treason with the likes of those other money-leeching, data-impotent carriers. Instead, I stayed true to my first love, despite the loneliness and rejection.

In your absence, my trusted Blackberry has served me well. It has retrieved and delivered tens of thousands of messages to those I cherish and those I barely know. Despite frequent interruptions of service, I once proudly dubbed it my "crackberry." But that time has come to an end.

In preparation of your arrival, I have become quite familiar with your cousin, the iPod Touch. Oh she was a beauty...lightweight, sleek, with a perfect set of apps any man would cherish. Yet she too was pale in comparison to the likes of you.

The time has finally come. My trusted steed, Sprint, has came through and made a deal with the devil to bring you near. I admit, I was befuddled by your decision to tease me by only revealing your lackluster, 4S form. For a brief moment, I contemplated waiting until you were ready to show me your formidable 5th model...but alas, I must have you now. Last night I wiped a tear as I anxiously signed my name in blood and presented a generous dowry to bring you closer to me. I now vehemently await your arrival, when I will cautiously yet vigorously take advantage of your beloved features. Until then my dear…

Your long lost love,

~Sheldon

PS I offer my sincere condolences and regret at the passing of your father. He was a noble man and will surely be missed.

Goodbye Blackberry.

Hello iPhone.